Friday, July 8, 2011

Mommy of 2 Under 2!

So I'll get right into it. This morning, before my feet touched the floor, I was changing Allison's diaper. Hailey was sitting on the bed with me, probably trying to get into Matt's night stand (her favorite thing to do). I'm not sure exactly what happened, but all I know is that I looked down and I was literally COVERED in baby poop. All over my arm, shirt, pants...had no idea a baby could poop that much. Hailey looked over and says..."Uh-oh, yucky poop!" After I let out a little whiny, "ew," I laughed. This is my life.

What can truly prepare you to be a mom...nonetheless a mom of two young ones? I'm always tired, always cleaning, always cooking, always changing a diaper...and always more in love than I've ever been. The other day I was doing my hair in the bathroom. There was a dirty diaper on the counter. I then went to get dressed, and there was a dirty diaper on the dresser. I then went into the living room, and alas, two dirty diapers on the couch! You're probably thinking, "Throw those away!!." My intention is always to throw them away right away, but before I can get to it Hailey is drawing sharpee on the tv (true story), or Alli is hungry. It's a whirlwind in our house, and I love it.

My weeks greatest moments are as follows:

  • I got to spend an hour alone Sunday morning, and was able to play piano for the worship team last minute. I can't tell you how good it felt to just be ME for a moment!

  • I successfully took both girls grocery shopping at Walmart BY MYSELF. Huge accomplishment. I wore Alli in the Baby Bjorn and fed Hailey so many berries I thought she would be sick! (and bought her a new $5 baby).

  • I went to Weight Watchers, and took both girls! They were great....and I lost more weight!

  • I took a 2 hour nap yesterday! woop woop!

Still trying to figure out exactly what it is going to look like when I go back to work in late August, but for now, enjoying every moment I have with these little ones!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My Thoughts on the Anthony Trial

So I know I don't update this blog very often...and usually when I do update it's about the kiddos...but something is on my mind that I wanted to share.

As most of you know, Casey Anthony was charged "not guilty" yesterday. I have to be honest that I did not follow this case very closely, but judging by the response of the world, many thought her to be guilty of killing her child. Now, as a mom, I literally cannot fathom that anyone would hurt their is seriously beyond me. I watched as the jury read off the counts she was charged with and wondered if maybe they felt that way it was just not possible that a mother could do that to her child. That maybe the world had not gotten that bad after all.

"On the charge of first degree murder....we find the defendant NOT say we all."
"On the charge of child endangerment, we find the defendant NOT say we all."

One by one, they deemed her NOT GUILTY. I love justice, and as a Christian, I know that my God loves it even more. I know that one day that little girls death will be justified, whatever the truth is. But, as they read off these counts, I pictured myself in Anthony's shoes, for I have been there many times. As the juror spoke out the words, "NOT GUILTY," over and over...I heard my Lord's voice. "On the charge of murder and hatred...on the charge of gossip...on the charge of YOU NAME IT I'VE DONE IT...I find the defendant, Ashley Jennings, NOT GUILTY." Everyone in heaven and hell and earth knew that I was actually guilty; that I deserve life in prison on earth, and death in hell in eternity. But my Creator, the ultimate judge, changed it all. And because my God is JUST...the giver of sin had to be dealt with. Someone had to pay the price.

Maybe she is guilty...maybe she isn't...but I WAS. I am reminded today of the freedom I have in Christ. I am reminded that now I have a purpose that lasts beyond this earth, to share this freedom with the world. I am cleansed and I am redeemed. I pray that my entire life would reflect my gratitude.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

2011 Here We Come!

I love the beginning of new years! There is something so incredibly refreshing about January 1st. I think it reflects the sense of renewal in us as humans that God gives so freely everyday. The fact that whatever happened last year or one second ago, His mercy is new every moment! When looking back on 2010, I am truly amazed at how blessed I am! Of course, there were hard times. Aren't there always? It is so easy to get bogged down on what was hard, and miss the blessing. But the last 365 days have been absolutely life changing!

To start, most of Hailey's life has been lived in 2010...and there are no words to describe that blessing. Not only in the incredible love I never knew I could feel for a human being, but in the way that God has grown me...the way that I have grown closer to the Father through the trials of parenting. It isn't easy, but nothing can show you the love of God more than raising children. You soon realize just how deep the words, "He gave His only Son" really mean. Just how much He loves His children. Even though I constantly question Him, He hopes for patient with me...and sometimes has to smack my hand so I don't harm myself. Having a daughter has changed my prayer life...I pray that she will know God even now as a child, that she will serve the Lord with all her heart...that her strong willed personality will bloom into a strong woman of God. I pray for her husband, wherever that sweet baby boy is :), that he will love the Lord and treat her like my husband treats me. That she will find adventure and fulfillment in this life. That she will be raised in a home that loves the Lord truly and deeply.

2010 has grown my marriage...and what a marriage it is! Before Hailey, I literally thought to myself most days, "I cannot believe this is the marriage that I have! It's amazing!" I didn't think I could love Matt more. Seeing Matt as a dad, AN AMAZING DAD, has grown in me a new appreciation for my man. He is so hands on! So much so that sometimes I feel a bit guilty :) He gets up in the middle of the night if need be. He always makes sure I'm rested. He changes poopy diapers with almost no complaint. He does housework, he runs errands, he shows our daughter affection, and prays with me before bed. He works full time almost always until midnight and rarely complains. I couldn't ask for a better team mate...for a better person to raise children with...for a better man to love and be loved by. He is my best friend and my husband!

Crossroads is another blessing! In 2008 (wow it's been that long) Matt and I left everything we had known up until then spiritually, and embarked on an adventure to work alongside with God in establishing health in a church. It has NOT been easy, but God has been more than faithful! There is not enough room in cyberspace to explain all that God has done. Today in church, we shared testimonies. It was an open mic time where anyone could share. Usually, these make me nervous. What if no one talks? ha! So many shared...and everyone of them talked of how the ministry at Crossroads has changed their lives. How God has shown them that they belong...that they are loved...that He is with them. That no matter where they had been, he accepts them. I was moved to tears with gratefulness. I do not boast when I thank God for allowing me to be a part of this life changing ministry. To see people that did not know the Lord two years ago, and to now see them serving God and being used to grow the kingdom. I'm moved to tears even now. I have learned that Christ truly changes lives...lives that were so entrenched in sin...that Satan thought he had won...and Christ claimed the victory. I've learned that it's easy to "play church." It's easy to know the answers to all the right questions, but nothing will sustain you...nothing will fulfill you...and nothing will protect you like the love of God.

These are just a few of the blessings 2010 has brought. 2011 is sure to be an adventure...the year we celebrate 5 years of marriage, and welcome our second daughter into the world. The year Hailey turns two. The year Crossroads steps into it's vision for the future after building a foundation...FINALLY! The year I discover more of myself, and more of God than I have before. HERE WE GO!