I love the beginning of new years! There is something so incredibly refreshing about January 1st. I think it reflects the sense of renewal in us as humans that God gives so freely everyday. The fact that whatever happened last year or one second ago, His mercy is new every moment! When looking back on 2010, I am truly amazed at how blessed I am! Of course, there were hard times. Aren't there always? It is so easy to get bogged down on what was hard, and miss the blessing. But the last 365 days have been absolutely life changing!
To start, most of Hailey's life has been lived in 2010...and there are no words to describe that blessing. Not only in the incredible love I never knew I could feel for a human being, but in the way that God has grown me...the way that I have grown closer to the Father through the trials of parenting. It isn't easy, but nothing can show you the love of God more than raising children. You soon realize just how deep the words, "He gave His only Son" really mean. Just how much He loves His children. Even though I constantly question Him, He hopes for me...is patient with me...and sometimes has to smack my hand so I don't harm myself. Having a daughter has changed my prayer life...I pray that she will know God even now as a child, that she will serve the Lord with all her heart...that her strong willed personality will bloom into a strong woman of God. I pray for her husband, wherever that sweet baby boy is :), that he will love the Lord and treat her like my husband treats me. That she will find adventure and fulfillment in this life. That she will be raised in a home that loves the Lord truly and deeply.
2010 has grown my marriage...and what a marriage it is! Before Hailey, I literally thought to myself most days, "I cannot believe this is the marriage that I have! It's amazing!" I didn't think I could love Matt more. Seeing Matt as a dad, AN AMAZING DAD, has grown in me a new appreciation for my man. He is so hands on! So much so that sometimes I feel a bit guilty :) He gets up in the middle of the night if need be. He always makes sure I'm rested. He changes poopy diapers with almost no complaint. He does housework, he runs errands, he shows our daughter affection, and prays with me before bed. He works full time almost always until midnight and rarely complains. I couldn't ask for a better team mate...for a better person to raise children with...for a better man to love and be loved by. He is my best friend and my husband!
Crossroads is another blessing! In 2008 (wow it's been that long) Matt and I left everything we had known up until then spiritually, and embarked on an adventure to work alongside with God in establishing health in a church. It has NOT been easy, but God has been more than faithful! There is not enough room in cyberspace to explain all that God has done. Today in church, we shared testimonies. It was an open mic time where anyone could share. Usually, these make me nervous. What if no one talks? ha! So many shared...and everyone of them talked of how the ministry at Crossroads has changed their lives. How God has shown them that they belong...that they are loved...that He is with them. That no matter where they had been, he accepts them. I was moved to tears with gratefulness. I do not boast when I thank God for allowing me to be a part of this life changing ministry. To see people that did not know the Lord two years ago, and to now see them serving God and being used to grow the kingdom. I'm moved to tears even now. I have learned that Christ truly changes lives...lives that were so entrenched in sin...that Satan thought he had won...and Christ claimed the victory. I've learned that it's easy to "play church." It's easy to know the answers to all the right questions, but nothing will sustain you...nothing will fulfill you...and nothing will protect you like the love of God.
These are just a few of the blessings 2010 has brought. 2011 is sure to be an adventure...the year we celebrate 5 years of marriage, and welcome our second daughter into the world. The year Hailey turns two. The year Crossroads steps into it's vision for the future after building a foundation...FINALLY! The year I discover more of myself, and more of God than I have before. HERE WE GO!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Quick Update on Life!
That's right. It's already been two months since Hailey's birthday! Time is FLYING BY!! She is learning so much so quickly. She babbles ON AND ON AND ON! I have no idea what she is saying, but I'm pretty sure she does! I have now defined her as a "strong-willed" child! It has been a little bit of a struggle figuring out a way to discipline her effectively. She doesn't care if I get a stern tone, or even if Matt does. She looks at me when I say, "No" or "Don't Touch", but she then proceeds to continue doing whatever it is she isn't supposed to do! Welcome to parenting I guess :) Overall, she is a complete joy! She really is an easy kid. Always has taken scheduled naps and slept all the way throught the night. She is an easy teether, and plays quietly by herself for periods of time. We are pretty lucky!
As far as this pregnancy goes, I find myself not even thinking much about it!! There are moments throughout the day when I'll think, "Hey, there is a baby growing in there! Hi baby!", but generally I find myself forgetting! There is a small amount of guilt inside me! With Hailey, I was reading books like crazy, and always day dreaming and wondering about this little child. Don't get me wrong, there are moments where I just wonder, but they are a lot less often. Maybe it is just me knowing what to expect this time! I am so so so excited to meet this little one. We have an ultrasound on December 29th to find out the sex of the baby! I have to be honest, when I do daydream, I dream about having a boy :) I have boy names picked out as well, and no girl names! What is my problem? ha! I think part of me wants to be done having children...and a boy would just make it perfect in my head. Of course, I would love another girl too...but my mind just goes right to boy. We shall see!
This year, I got my Christmas present early. A new camera :) In the past I worked for a professional photographer. I think I was spoiled to look at amazing pictures for years, and just found myself outgrowing the norm! Of course Hailey is my favorite subject, but a few people have asked me to take photos for them! There are some below. I had a lady today offer to pay me for a session :) It's quite an honor to be asked that. I love love love being behind the camera. It opens up some creative outlet in my mind! So fun!
As far as this pregnancy goes, I find myself not even thinking much about it!! There are moments throughout the day when I'll think, "Hey, there is a baby growing in there! Hi baby!", but generally I find myself forgetting! There is a small amount of guilt inside me! With Hailey, I was reading books like crazy, and always day dreaming and wondering about this little child. Don't get me wrong, there are moments where I just wonder, but they are a lot less often. Maybe it is just me knowing what to expect this time! I am so so so excited to meet this little one. We have an ultrasound on December 29th to find out the sex of the baby! I have to be honest, when I do daydream, I dream about having a boy :) I have boy names picked out as well, and no girl names! What is my problem? ha! I think part of me wants to be done having children...and a boy would just make it perfect in my head. Of course, I would love another girl too...but my mind just goes right to boy. We shall see!
This year, I got my Christmas present early. A new camera :) In the past I worked for a professional photographer. I think I was spoiled to look at amazing pictures for years, and just found myself outgrowing the norm! Of course Hailey is my favorite subject, but a few people have asked me to take photos for them! There are some below. I had a lady today offer to pay me for a session :) It's quite an honor to be asked that. I love love love being behind the camera. It opens up some creative outlet in my mind! So fun!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
New Seasons!
I love fall. I love the way a tree with bright red leaves takes my breath away. As if God Himself is unveiling beauty before us. I love all the smells of fall: rain, apple pie, firewood. I love apple hill, Thanksgiving, and all the memories that emcompass it. Most of all, I love the feeling that a new season is approaching. That a new time in life is about to start. It couldn't be a better reflection of my life right now.
A month ago today, Hailey turned one. I can't believe I even just wrote that. It seems like only yesterday I was swaddling her and placing her in her bassinet...or working overly hard to get one little smile out of her. Now, all she does is smile and laugh and dance and run and learn new things. I adore her! Just thinking of her brings a smile to my face. No one else in the world has ever made me laugh so hard, or reflect on God's love the way that she has.
A few weeks before Hailey turned one, Matt and I found out that Baby #2 is on the way! I'm going to try and explain how I feel about this. At first, it was very unrealistic for us. It was hard to accept, and still is setting in for us. With Hailey, it took work. Not just physically :), but spiritually. It took time. I can look back now and say that there was never a time in my life before that I had learned more from. I learned the TRUE meaning of hope...of patience...of trust that God knew EXACTLY what my life would look like, and He was going to bring me the greatest fulfillment out of it...child or not. It was truly a hard and edifying time for me personally, I think for Matt as well. So when Hailey's first birthday was coming close, Matt and I thought...well, last time it took a while...and we don't want our kids too far apart. Let's just see what happens. I prayed one prayer. "God, help me not to have a melt down like last time. I want to truly demonstrate to you that I've grown, and DO trust you." I honestly didn't think much about "trying" to get pregnant. With Hailey there were doctors visits, ovulation tests, and different methods to track fertility. With this one, there was NONE of that! You can only imagine the surprise I got when I stopped on my way to work on a Monday and picked up the cheapest pregnancy test in the store, and saw a faint little pink line. I'll never forget the two moments now I've had seeing a positive pregnancy test! One was a complete overwhelming JOY, and the other a complete overwhelming SHOCK! I felt almost robotic that night, walking around the Galleria mall looking for a Big Sister T Shirt for Hailey so I could take her to Matt's work and tell him. When we walked in the door of Walgreens, Matt said,"Sister????? Are you pregnant???" with a shocked half smile. We ate our dinner laughing the entire time.
Since then, we've had our first ultrasound...there is nothing that can explain seeing your baby on that little monitor...the little heartbeat fluttering away. It amazes me...that all of a sudden one day the cells that will become the chambers of the heart just begin to beat...you know at that moment, God smiles and remembers the words he spoke at the first creation of man..."It is good..."
You would think that with a second baby you would think things like, "I know what to expect, I got this." But the truth is, I have NO IDEA what to expect. I just imagine myself having another Hailey! I can't imagine that there is a second child joining our family in June. They will be 20 months apart...HOLY MOLY! I haven't even started thinking about what that means yet...just trying to soak it in! We are overjoyed...in awe and wonder that God had this as the plan for our lives. We are a little nervous too, but more than anything just dreaming of what our life will look like in 6 1/2 months.
A month ago today, Hailey turned one. I can't believe I even just wrote that. It seems like only yesterday I was swaddling her and placing her in her bassinet...or working overly hard to get one little smile out of her. Now, all she does is smile and laugh and dance and run and learn new things. I adore her! Just thinking of her brings a smile to my face. No one else in the world has ever made me laugh so hard, or reflect on God's love the way that she has.
A few weeks before Hailey turned one, Matt and I found out that Baby #2 is on the way! I'm going to try and explain how I feel about this. At first, it was very unrealistic for us. It was hard to accept, and still is setting in for us. With Hailey, it took work. Not just physically :), but spiritually. It took time. I can look back now and say that there was never a time in my life before that I had learned more from. I learned the TRUE meaning of hope...of patience...of trust that God knew EXACTLY what my life would look like, and He was going to bring me the greatest fulfillment out of it...child or not. It was truly a hard and edifying time for me personally, I think for Matt as well. So when Hailey's first birthday was coming close, Matt and I thought...well, last time it took a while...and we don't want our kids too far apart. Let's just see what happens. I prayed one prayer. "God, help me not to have a melt down like last time. I want to truly demonstrate to you that I've grown, and DO trust you." I honestly didn't think much about "trying" to get pregnant. With Hailey there were doctors visits, ovulation tests, and different methods to track fertility. With this one, there was NONE of that! You can only imagine the surprise I got when I stopped on my way to work on a Monday and picked up the cheapest pregnancy test in the store, and saw a faint little pink line. I'll never forget the two moments now I've had seeing a positive pregnancy test! One was a complete overwhelming JOY, and the other a complete overwhelming SHOCK! I felt almost robotic that night, walking around the Galleria mall looking for a Big Sister T Shirt for Hailey so I could take her to Matt's work and tell him. When we walked in the door of Walgreens, Matt said,"Sister????? Are you pregnant???" with a shocked half smile. We ate our dinner laughing the entire time.
Since then, we've had our first ultrasound...there is nothing that can explain seeing your baby on that little monitor...the little heartbeat fluttering away. It amazes me...that all of a sudden one day the cells that will become the chambers of the heart just begin to beat...you know at that moment, God smiles and remembers the words he spoke at the first creation of man..."It is good..."
You would think that with a second baby you would think things like, "I know what to expect, I got this." But the truth is, I have NO IDEA what to expect. I just imagine myself having another Hailey! I can't imagine that there is a second child joining our family in June. They will be 20 months apart...HOLY MOLY! I haven't even started thinking about what that means yet...just trying to soak it in! We are overjoyed...in awe and wonder that God had this as the plan for our lives. We are a little nervous too, but more than anything just dreaming of what our life will look like in 6 1/2 months.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Book of Revelation
Ok, so I'm going to take a break from general family updates, and let you in on a little part of my heart that God is opening! When you look at the title of this blog, you're probably immediately thinking, "Uh oh, weirdo post about 2012 and the doom and gloom of the coming end of THE WORLD." If you're not thinking that, the rest of the world sure is. Just google image search the word "revelation." You'll find everything from Jesus in the clouds, aliens, weird asteroids, and the Journey Greatest Hits album cover. For me, the book of Revelation has always been a book that was "over my head." Something that I stayed away from because I just felt that it was a mystery that only John and Jesus understood. I've skimmed through the pages...even read chapters at a time, but never studied it deeply.
Back in January, Matt's cousin Brooke (I'll just say she's MY cousin because I love her so much) told me about something called CBS that she is a part of. CBS (Community Bible Study) is exactly what the title of it describes it to be. It's a gathering of women from the community that come together every week from September to May and study one book of the bible. I was instantly intrigued when I heard about it. I have never spent a year on one book of the bible, and I dare say I can't spend an entire month in one book of the bible and stay focused. I felt drawn to this kind of study, prayed about it, and decided to join. Shortly after, I found out that the book we would be studying was Revelation. Uh oh...not that strange and potentially divisive topic of the end of the world! I was nervous but at the same time could feel my pulse start to race with excitement to walk an untrodden path in my spiritual life.
Shortly before starting the CBS study, I started a class with the Wesleyan denomination to be licensed as a pastor called New Testament Elective. I thought this could be anything from studying the culture in which God sent His son to do His ministry...to something mild like Acts (ha!). When I found out the topic was Eschatology (aka studying end times), I knew that it was no coincidence. God wants me to KNOW Revelation...not just have some knowledge of it, but truly understand it!
Needless to say, I have been studying end times for the last month, and there is a new zeal in my heart for ministry, for evangelism, for my relationship with God. A few things that have been life changing for me...
1. Revelation is not too hard for me to understand. Sure, there are parts of Scripture that are a mystery, but John 16:13 says, "But when He, the Spirit of Truth, comes, He will guide you into ALL truth..." This verse is a great comfort to me that maybe my human mind cannot comprehend Scripture in all it's entirety, but God has given us the Holy Spirit to understand ALL truth....What an encouragement when starting to study such a hard subject such as end times.
2. Jesus is coming BACK! SOON! I know I know...I'm a Christian and should know this and live like it's the last days, but honestly, sometimes I forget! I think of Jesus words, "The kingdom of heaven is near." My first reaction is to see those words as thousands of years old and to subconsciously think, "what are the chances it would happen in my lifetime? Of all generations it most likely won't be this one." Let me tell you, every day that we live is ONE DAY CLOSER to us seeing our Lord's face! Whether or not I see that before I die a physical death is irrelevant really...I will see Him...and SOON!
3. Jesus is NOT who I thought He was! Going into this study, I don't think I had the correct understanding of who Jesus is. I know who He is...my mind understands it, but I don't think my heart really connected to the idea that HE IS GOD! Read the first chapter of Revelation alone, and your Sunday School rendition of a mild and meek Jesus sleeping with lambs and talking gently will be crushed! Jesus is coming back in POWER AND GLORY! His voice will be heard by everyone and EVERYONE will know that He is God. This is the God that I worship. This is my Savior!
I find in myself a renewed sense of urgency. I don't look at Revelation as the "END OF THE WORLD" or a time of doom and gloom. Sure, it will be hard, but instead I see it as the Second Coming of Jesus Christ...the fulfillment of all God's promises. The time when all brokenness, sin, and injustice will be corrected! I can't wait. I want it to come now. I'm not afraid for once in my life of not being on the earth. In fact, I pray for Him to come. The early church used to greet each other with the word "Maranatha" which means COME LORD JESUS COME. That's going to become my new Hello to cashiers and pizza delivery guys. Ok, maybe not, but maybe it should be!
Back in January, Matt's cousin Brooke (I'll just say she's MY cousin because I love her so much) told me about something called CBS that she is a part of. CBS (Community Bible Study) is exactly what the title of it describes it to be. It's a gathering of women from the community that come together every week from September to May and study one book of the bible. I was instantly intrigued when I heard about it. I have never spent a year on one book of the bible, and I dare say I can't spend an entire month in one book of the bible and stay focused. I felt drawn to this kind of study, prayed about it, and decided to join. Shortly after, I found out that the book we would be studying was Revelation. Uh oh...not that strange and potentially divisive topic of the end of the world! I was nervous but at the same time could feel my pulse start to race with excitement to walk an untrodden path in my spiritual life.
Shortly before starting the CBS study, I started a class with the Wesleyan denomination to be licensed as a pastor called New Testament Elective. I thought this could be anything from studying the culture in which God sent His son to do His ministry...to something mild like Acts (ha!). When I found out the topic was Eschatology (aka studying end times), I knew that it was no coincidence. God wants me to KNOW Revelation...not just have some knowledge of it, but truly understand it!
Needless to say, I have been studying end times for the last month, and there is a new zeal in my heart for ministry, for evangelism, for my relationship with God. A few things that have been life changing for me...
1. Revelation is not too hard for me to understand. Sure, there are parts of Scripture that are a mystery, but John 16:13 says, "But when He, the Spirit of Truth, comes, He will guide you into ALL truth..." This verse is a great comfort to me that maybe my human mind cannot comprehend Scripture in all it's entirety, but God has given us the Holy Spirit to understand ALL truth....What an encouragement when starting to study such a hard subject such as end times.
2. Jesus is coming BACK! SOON! I know I know...I'm a Christian and should know this and live like it's the last days, but honestly, sometimes I forget! I think of Jesus words, "The kingdom of heaven is near." My first reaction is to see those words as thousands of years old and to subconsciously think, "what are the chances it would happen in my lifetime? Of all generations it most likely won't be this one." Let me tell you, every day that we live is ONE DAY CLOSER to us seeing our Lord's face! Whether or not I see that before I die a physical death is irrelevant really...I will see Him...and SOON!
3. Jesus is NOT who I thought He was! Going into this study, I don't think I had the correct understanding of who Jesus is. I know who He is...my mind understands it, but I don't think my heart really connected to the idea that HE IS GOD! Read the first chapter of Revelation alone, and your Sunday School rendition of a mild and meek Jesus sleeping with lambs and talking gently will be crushed! Jesus is coming back in POWER AND GLORY! His voice will be heard by everyone and EVERYONE will know that He is God. This is the God that I worship. This is my Savior!
I find in myself a renewed sense of urgency. I don't look at Revelation as the "END OF THE WORLD" or a time of doom and gloom. Sure, it will be hard, but instead I see it as the Second Coming of Jesus Christ...the fulfillment of all God's promises. The time when all brokenness, sin, and injustice will be corrected! I can't wait. I want it to come now. I'm not afraid for once in my life of not being on the earth. In fact, I pray for Him to come. The early church used to greet each other with the word "Maranatha" which means COME LORD JESUS COME. That's going to become my new Hello to cashiers and pizza delivery guys. Ok, maybe not, but maybe it should be!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Recap for the Year!
Well, hello. You may or may not notice that my last blog update was almost a YEAR AGO! I have on my weekly calendar to blog every week, and you can see how well that works :) Let's just do a quick recap of the last year.
Hailey is almost a year old. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. I didn't think I would be this emotional about it, but the reality that she is going to be exiting the "baby stage" is surreal. A couple of weeks ago I re-organized her room, putting away all the clothes and items that she just doesn't need or use anymore. It looks now like a little girl room rather than a baby room. The last year has been absolutely incredible. She is the BEST baby...and anyone that knows her knows I am not exaggerating when I say that. Her demeanor is so calm and sweet, and she is laid back beyond belief! The last couple of months have been so tremendous as far as her development goes. I can see her imagination starting to bloom. She can sit with a toy and play quietly for a while. She is completely OVER baby food. This started at about 8 months. She wanted anything and everything that she could chew...even though up until recently she only had two perfect teeth. Speaking of teething, she went through one TERRIBLE bout of teething that lasted three weeks. She was up at random hours (which she has NEVER done since the very beginning). She had a high fever, and was fussy in general. Let's just say it was humbling. I learned a new gratitude to God for blessing me with an easy child. Hailey has such a funny personality. She dances every chance she gets, she makes funny faces to make people laugh, and she laughs if I try and correct her. She doesn't respond to my change in tone. She just smiles. She knows "Don't Touch", but sometimes decides its more worth it to touch whatever it is than to make me not upset. This has been a challenge, and I daily ask God for wisdom in how to discipline a child! All in all, Hailey is the biggest joy in my life...the most incredible gift God could ever bestow upon me. We have hard days, days where I lose my patience just as any mom does, but at the end of a hard day, I wouldn't trade my life in for anything.
She loves the swings! Big Girl Riding The Jelly Belly Car
Eating a BlackBerry at Apple Hill (picked it herself)
I will update more, I promise. Life has seemed to settle down lately, which will allow for more blog time! Thanks for reading!
Attempt at double fold bias tape!
Purse!
Hailey is almost a year old. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. I didn't think I would be this emotional about it, but the reality that she is going to be exiting the "baby stage" is surreal. A couple of weeks ago I re-organized her room, putting away all the clothes and items that she just doesn't need or use anymore. It looks now like a little girl room rather than a baby room. The last year has been absolutely incredible. She is the BEST baby...and anyone that knows her knows I am not exaggerating when I say that. Her demeanor is so calm and sweet, and she is laid back beyond belief! The last couple of months have been so tremendous as far as her development goes. I can see her imagination starting to bloom. She can sit with a toy and play quietly for a while. She is completely OVER baby food. This started at about 8 months. She wanted anything and everything that she could chew...even though up until recently she only had two perfect teeth. Speaking of teething, she went through one TERRIBLE bout of teething that lasted three weeks. She was up at random hours (which she has NEVER done since the very beginning). She had a high fever, and was fussy in general. Let's just say it was humbling. I learned a new gratitude to God for blessing me with an easy child. Hailey has such a funny personality. She dances every chance she gets, she makes funny faces to make people laugh, and she laughs if I try and correct her. She doesn't respond to my change in tone. She just smiles. She knows "Don't Touch", but sometimes decides its more worth it to touch whatever it is than to make me not upset. This has been a challenge, and I daily ask God for wisdom in how to discipline a child! All in all, Hailey is the biggest joy in my life...the most incredible gift God could ever bestow upon me. We have hard days, days where I lose my patience just as any mom does, but at the end of a hard day, I wouldn't trade my life in for anything.
She loves the swings! Big Girl Riding The Jelly Belly Car
Eating a BlackBerry at Apple Hill (picked it herself)
Pig tails!!
Parenting has really brought a new dynamic to Matt and my marriage. I didn't really know what to expect adding a child to our seemingly perfect world. Parenting has grown in me a deeper love and respect for my husband than I could ever have thought. Before Hailey, there were times when I thought, "There is no way I could love this man more." Well, God has opened my heart to love deeper and fuller. Matt is the BEST DAD. He loves that little girl unlike he's loved anything before. His time spent with her is time spent with HER. Every time I come home from work, I get a summary of the days activities. "I took Hailey to the park, then we had a snack, then we made faces at each other, and then I had her laughing." I admit that sometimes I respond with, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DISHES or THE LAUNDRY." I am convicted even now writing this. Hailey is the luckiest girl in the world to have a daddy like Matt, and she knows it! He has stepped into the role of father with such ease and enthusiasm, and I couldn't imagine raising children and spending the rest of my life with anyone else. He is the calm one in this relationship for sure! I find myself flailing around sometimes, and he is always standing there in patience and understanding. Ok, enough of the mushy stuff.
Me! Beside spending my days as a mom, I am on the Executive Staff at our church, and I work at Cut Loose Hair Design on the weekends. Working at the church in this capacity has been...well I can't even think of a word. I have never been so challenged, tested, and sharpened before. Let me tell you if you don't already know it: Our God is an incredible God. Every day I get to see and play a human part in lives changed, people healed, and lifelong relationships built. It is a challenge to say the least. The enemy comes to steal and kill and destroy for sure, but our Lord is stronger and bigger and better! I love it and am humbled to have the opportunities I do at such a young age to serve God. I also love working at the Hair Salon. It really feels like an oasis for me. A place I can go where I am just me! I love the people I work with!
Last update and get ready for this one...I have a new hobby. I learned to SEW! It is the strangest thing and you're probably thinking, "What the heck Ash, are you that much of a home body?" Ok, here's the story. I went to one of our Crossroads seniors homes(Thelma...LOVE HER). I went over there more to visit her than to do anything else. As usual with the seniors, I left with more wisdom than I could ask for. She taught me how to use the sewing machine that day. I literally did not even know what a bobbin was when I walked in her front door. She showed me the very basics and let me use some of her material to make a pillow case (fancy I know). I really don't see myself as a creative person, but all of a sudden I was flooded with excitement. I left there and went immediately to the fabric store! Ever since, I sew whenever I get a free moment! I have so many projects I want to do. I want to take a vacation, tell everyone I'm going to Fiji, but really lock myself in my house and sew until the cows come home. I know what you're thinking, "You're the weirdest 24 year old ever." You're probably right :)
Me! Beside spending my days as a mom, I am on the Executive Staff at our church, and I work at Cut Loose Hair Design on the weekends. Working at the church in this capacity has been...well I can't even think of a word. I have never been so challenged, tested, and sharpened before. Let me tell you if you don't already know it: Our God is an incredible God. Every day I get to see and play a human part in lives changed, people healed, and lifelong relationships built. It is a challenge to say the least. The enemy comes to steal and kill and destroy for sure, but our Lord is stronger and bigger and better! I love it and am humbled to have the opportunities I do at such a young age to serve God. I also love working at the Hair Salon. It really feels like an oasis for me. A place I can go where I am just me! I love the people I work with!
Last update and get ready for this one...I have a new hobby. I learned to SEW! It is the strangest thing and you're probably thinking, "What the heck Ash, are you that much of a home body?" Ok, here's the story. I went to one of our Crossroads seniors homes(Thelma...LOVE HER). I went over there more to visit her than to do anything else. As usual with the seniors, I left with more wisdom than I could ask for. She taught me how to use the sewing machine that day. I literally did not even know what a bobbin was when I walked in her front door. She showed me the very basics and let me use some of her material to make a pillow case (fancy I know). I really don't see myself as a creative person, but all of a sudden I was flooded with excitement. I left there and went immediately to the fabric store! Ever since, I sew whenever I get a free moment! I have so many projects I want to do. I want to take a vacation, tell everyone I'm going to Fiji, but really lock myself in my house and sew until the cows come home. I know what you're thinking, "You're the weirdest 24 year old ever." You're probably right :)
I will update more, I promise. Life has seemed to settle down lately, which will allow for more blog time! Thanks for reading!
Me in all my weirdness
Attempt at double fold bias tape!
Made this laptop sleeve for a friend who left on a missions trip
Laptop sleeve for me :)
Purse!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Happy 4 Weeks Hailey Grace
I can’t believe that 4 weeks ago I was nine months pregnant! I have been hit with the realization that life really does FLY by! Especially when you are having fun with your new baby!
The transition to being parents has been an incredible experience! We truly are loving every minute of it. Well almost every minute J I can’t believe how much Hailey has changed in just four short weeks. She is such a good baby! She rarely fusses, and has created her own schedule (which I’m sure won’t be permanent, but I’m enjoying it nonetheless). She is more alert now, and has started smiling. Every smile is a heart melter! I’m proud to say that she smiles at me the most. Of course, Matt and I are in a competition to see who gets the most smiles per day. Matt and I are enamored with all her little noises and funny faces. If someone had a camera in our house watching us interact with her, we would probably look ridiculous. I surprise myself with all the goofy dances I do and sounds I make. It’s pretty embarrassing really! I’m pretty sure Gus (our dog) thinks I’ve lost it. Speaking of Gus, he absolutely loves Hailey. Every time a peep comes from her, he immediately runs to her side. He will poke his head over the side of her bassinet to look at her and make sure she is ok. He has done great being aware of her too. I wasn’t sure how he would do with a new baby, but so far so good!
I can see her adjusting to life on the outside! It’s amazing how fast she has adapted! She is completely used to getting her diaper changed, and getting dressed. She loves the bath (as long as the water is running over her). She has chosen which kind of pacifier she likes (MAMS…thanks Brooke for the recommendationJ). She focuses her eyes on faces and I can see her taking in the world around her constantly. She is still wearing newborn size clothes, but she isn’t swimming in them like when we brought her home. A few things are looking a little snug already. She sleeps GREAT! I really can’t complain. She usually will sleep about five hours and then wake to eat. After eating she falls right back asleep for another 3 and a half to four hours! I am getting more rest now than when I was pregnant. I’m hoping this keeps up!
Being a mom is THE BIGGEST joy I have ever experienced! There have been some frustrating times…like when my milk came in and I ballooned up to four sizes bigger in a day…or when I find myself covered in puke or poop in the middle of the night. All that is eclipsed by the love that I have for her. I still cannot believe that I am a mom and that I have a DAUGHTER. I spend my days imagining her getting bigger…going to school…growing up and getting married! It is crazy that this beautiful little person will one day be an adult…will one day make her own decisions and have her own relationship with God. I could cry just thinking about it. I’m doing well. Just trying to heal and rest as much as I can. I am still not working which is a blessing but makes me antsy all the same. I still haven’t figured out exactly what will happen when I return to work, but I am not too worried about it. Hailey has PLENTY of people that have offered to spend time with her if I need it.
Matt is back at work. I think I’m adjusting to trying to figure out how to handle it all on my own during the day. I have been so spoiled having him off work. Getting out the door for a daily outing takes quite the effort. Matt started at a new store and likes it so far. It’s in Del Paso Heights, so things are pretty interesting compared to Folsom. I have to say that Matt is THE BEST dad ever. The other day one of our friends told me that she has never seen a Dad so in love with his daughter. It is so true. The second he comes in the door from work he rushes to hold her. He is the biggest help. I am still recovering (SLOWLY) and I can’t be on my feet for too long. He makes sure that I am fed and rested as much as possible. I try not to wake him in the middle of the night, but if I need something he is MORE than willing to get up and get it. We are making a great team in raising this little one, and our marriage is such an incredible blessing from God.
This last Sunday was her dedication ceremony to the Lord. It was such a huge blessing to have our friends and family join us! Thank you so much to those of you that came! It was such an honor to hear the church commit to being an example and supporting us as parents. Hailey is so lucky to have such godly influences in her life. She was ADORABLE in her pink dress, huge bow, and tights. We can’t find any shoes that will fit her yet, so we found tights that have little ballet slippers on them. It’s so fun having a little girl!
Next week, Matt’s mom Diane is coming into town to meet little Hailey! We are so excited to see her and spend time with her over the holiday. I’m giddy thinking that Christmas will be here soon. There is something about this season that just gives me SO MUCH joy! Sometimes I look at Hailey and am in awe that our Lord came to earth as innocent and helpless as she is. MIRACULOUS! Below are some photos from the last 4 weeks!
Thanks for reading!
In the Hospital
Pea in the Pod!
Smiling at Auntie
Best Friends
Pastor Michael praying over Hailey
Proud Parents
We Love You Reynolds
Best Friends!
Photo Shoot
Mom I hate these bows
The transition to being parents has been an incredible experience! We truly are loving every minute of it. Well almost every minute J I can’t believe how much Hailey has changed in just four short weeks. She is such a good baby! She rarely fusses, and has created her own schedule (which I’m sure won’t be permanent, but I’m enjoying it nonetheless). She is more alert now, and has started smiling. Every smile is a heart melter! I’m proud to say that she smiles at me the most. Of course, Matt and I are in a competition to see who gets the most smiles per day. Matt and I are enamored with all her little noises and funny faces. If someone had a camera in our house watching us interact with her, we would probably look ridiculous. I surprise myself with all the goofy dances I do and sounds I make. It’s pretty embarrassing really! I’m pretty sure Gus (our dog) thinks I’ve lost it. Speaking of Gus, he absolutely loves Hailey. Every time a peep comes from her, he immediately runs to her side. He will poke his head over the side of her bassinet to look at her and make sure she is ok. He has done great being aware of her too. I wasn’t sure how he would do with a new baby, but so far so good!
I can see her adjusting to life on the outside! It’s amazing how fast she has adapted! She is completely used to getting her diaper changed, and getting dressed. She loves the bath (as long as the water is running over her). She has chosen which kind of pacifier she likes (MAMS…thanks Brooke for the recommendationJ). She focuses her eyes on faces and I can see her taking in the world around her constantly. She is still wearing newborn size clothes, but she isn’t swimming in them like when we brought her home. A few things are looking a little snug already. She sleeps GREAT! I really can’t complain. She usually will sleep about five hours and then wake to eat. After eating she falls right back asleep for another 3 and a half to four hours! I am getting more rest now than when I was pregnant. I’m hoping this keeps up!
Being a mom is THE BIGGEST joy I have ever experienced! There have been some frustrating times…like when my milk came in and I ballooned up to four sizes bigger in a day…or when I find myself covered in puke or poop in the middle of the night. All that is eclipsed by the love that I have for her. I still cannot believe that I am a mom and that I have a DAUGHTER. I spend my days imagining her getting bigger…going to school…growing up and getting married! It is crazy that this beautiful little person will one day be an adult…will one day make her own decisions and have her own relationship with God. I could cry just thinking about it. I’m doing well. Just trying to heal and rest as much as I can. I am still not working which is a blessing but makes me antsy all the same. I still haven’t figured out exactly what will happen when I return to work, but I am not too worried about it. Hailey has PLENTY of people that have offered to spend time with her if I need it.
Matt is back at work. I think I’m adjusting to trying to figure out how to handle it all on my own during the day. I have been so spoiled having him off work. Getting out the door for a daily outing takes quite the effort. Matt started at a new store and likes it so far. It’s in Del Paso Heights, so things are pretty interesting compared to Folsom. I have to say that Matt is THE BEST dad ever. The other day one of our friends told me that she has never seen a Dad so in love with his daughter. It is so true. The second he comes in the door from work he rushes to hold her. He is the biggest help. I am still recovering (SLOWLY) and I can’t be on my feet for too long. He makes sure that I am fed and rested as much as possible. I try not to wake him in the middle of the night, but if I need something he is MORE than willing to get up and get it. We are making a great team in raising this little one, and our marriage is such an incredible blessing from God.
This last Sunday was her dedication ceremony to the Lord. It was such a huge blessing to have our friends and family join us! Thank you so much to those of you that came! It was such an honor to hear the church commit to being an example and supporting us as parents. Hailey is so lucky to have such godly influences in her life. She was ADORABLE in her pink dress, huge bow, and tights. We can’t find any shoes that will fit her yet, so we found tights that have little ballet slippers on them. It’s so fun having a little girl!
Next week, Matt’s mom Diane is coming into town to meet little Hailey! We are so excited to see her and spend time with her over the holiday. I’m giddy thinking that Christmas will be here soon. There is something about this season that just gives me SO MUCH joy! Sometimes I look at Hailey and am in awe that our Lord came to earth as innocent and helpless as she is. MIRACULOUS! Below are some photos from the last 4 weeks!
Thanks for reading!
In the Hospital
Pea in the Pod!
Smiling at Auntie
Best Friends
Pastor Michael praying over Hailey
Proud Parents
We Love You Reynolds
Best Friends!
Photo Shoot
Mom I hate these bows
Saturday, November 7, 2009
HAILEY is BORN! (TMI ALERT!)
It is hard to believe that a little over three weeks ago I gave birth to Hailey Grace Jennings! She was born on Tuesday, October 20th at 11:26 am . I will never forget the week before she was born!
She was due on October 11th. Toward the end of my pregnancy, me and everyone else seemed to be sure that she would not make it to her due date. My tummy looked SOOO ready! So many people would say, "Holy Moly she is SOOO LOW." or "That baby is coming ANY DAY!" Everyday I would wake up to countless facebook and text messages predicting that day as the day she would be born. And then she didn't come. I had set myself up to NOT BE disappointed if she didn't come early. Naturally, I felt done physically, but mentally I was doing pretty well. However, all that changed on October 12th, the day after my due date! It changed even more on Tuesday the 13th when the doctor told me I was only
I have to say that I PRAYED everyday that I would not have to be induced. My plan was to go unmedicated as long as possible. I was told that I may not be able to have an epidural because of some platelet issues. I was preparing for the worst and the thought of pitocin and no epidural didn't sit so well with me! On the Thursday before I went into labor on my own (PRAISE GOD), I started having some pretty heavy bleeding. I called the advice nurse and she said to just keep an eye on it. When you are pregnant for the first time and have no idea what to expect, your first reaction is "Keep an eye on WHAT?!" On Saturday I was still bleeding quite a bit. Not enough to compare to a period, but more than spotting. I had always heard that when you have "bloody show" that labor is not far off. It had been days of bleeding and not even a cramp. I called Labor and Delivery again that night, and they said that I should come in to just make sure everything was ok. I was pretty frustrated because I knew I was not in labor. I had made up my mind that I would not be one of those women that is in and out of the hospital 40 times before they ACTUALLY go into labor. I threw on some slippers and didn't bring anything that I had packed. After Matt and I enjoyed Kaiser's cable, the prognosis was that I should go home. That night I was still
Sunday was another hard day. I went to church and endured the countless comments about how everyone could not believe that I was still pregnant. Everyone was so sweet, but I was a huge grumpy overdue hippo! I remember worshipping that Sunday and asking God to try and keep me focused on Him...I was so distracted. Not to mention the back pain from the hard squeaky pews. After church I retreated home back to my couch to sit it out. I had heard a lot of things about how to induce labor...eat spicy food! (check), walk a
Monday morning, I woke up out of my sleep at
I was nervous about making the decision to go the hospital. I don't think I could have handled them telling me to leave and go home and wait it out, or to sit in triage waiting for my body to progress until they thought I was ready to be admitted. I had been having contractions ALL DAY LONG! We arrived at the hospital around
That first contraction after my water broke was a WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL GAME! My contractions became VERY strong and VERY long. They were only 2 minutes apart at most. I remember thinking that if I could just get in a different position it would feel a little better, but there wasn't enough time between them to even get there! It was a little stressful at this point...I never felt ready for the next contraction because I didn't have time to prepare! This is when my labor team came to my rescue. My amazing friend Kristin would massage my lower back, while my friend Mallory held my arms and talked me through them. My mom would massage my feet and help me breathe! Corinne decided to stay in town so she was there too! She held Mallory's baby and just her presence was a life saver (yes we had a FULL room). Everyone had a role and they were all great at it. For three hours I breathed through these contractions and tried to focus. I was getting really tired and started thinking that I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to be able to get through it. The whole time God kept my mind steady. I knew exactly what I wanted. I had decided that if I was close to pushing time, I would opt for a small does of morphine or something like that to take the edge off. If I was still far off, I wanted an epidural if I could have one. The nurse came in to check me around
Pushing was very easy compared the pain of transition labor. The pressure was uncomfortable, but again, very doable. I could feel each contraction come even though I had the epidural. The midwife that delivered was absolutely amazing! I can still hear her voice in my head...so calming! After a little less than an hour of pushing, Hailey Grace came into the world! All glorious
The next part was probably the worst part of all. They began to stitch what they thought was only a few mild tears. However, once the midwife started stitching, she quickly realized that they needed a doctor to come in and finish. Once the doctor took a look at me, she immediately ordered the nurse to have my epidural turned on full blast. I have NEVER felt so numb in my life. I couldn't even hold my own body up above the waist! Such a weird feeling, but I'm sure better than the alternative. The doctor than began to put me back together. After THREE HOURS and 150 stitches, she was finally done. I remember feeling so bad for my dad who was standing out in the hall all that time just waiting to come in! It seemed like forever. The doctor said that since my blood platelets were low it made my tissue very soft in the birth canal. As Hailey came down, things just began to tear one right after the other. I can tell you that if I ever write a book about pregnancy or motherhood, it will be about postpartum recovery! Maybe call it The Last Six Weeks (and beyond.......) I was prepared for labor and delivery, but not for recovery! While I can tell that I am getting better every day, it is still pretty painful. I am so antsy just sitting around doing nothing. I try and do a small outing everyday, but after about 5 minutes of walking, I'm quickly over it!
A lot of people have asked me why they didn't just take her out via C Section because the process was so long...to that I say I THANK GOD that I didn't have a C Section. Labor is hard, don't get me wrong, and there probably isn't anything that can really prepare you for the pain...However, I am not lying when I say I am truly blessed to have the experience that I did. I know that there were a lot of you praying for me through the end of the never ending pregnancy, and I can't tell you just how thankful I am for you all! Since that day, there have been a few hard ones trying to figure out motherhood, but it's the most precious gift God has ever given to me. That He would entrust little Hailey to us as her parents is the highest honor. Matt says all the time that he understands God's love for us so much better. To give up His only son...when you have your own child that sacrifice is made much more real.
Thanks for reading this long one!
Jeff and Laurie praying!
Walking the halls...the nureses labeled me "The Walker" ha
Proud Parents!
Beautiful Hailey
I love him
Daddy's Girl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)